How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
Being a people pleaser can be exhausting and detrimental to your own well-being. Constantly seeking approval and trying to keep everyone around you happy can lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, and a loss of your own identity. If you find yourself constantly prioritizing others over yourself, it's essential to make a change and learn how to set healthier boundaries. Here are some steps you can take to stop being a people pleaser:
1. Recognize your patterns: Reflect on your behaviors and identify situations where you tend to prioritize others over yourself. Recognizing these patterns will give you a better understanding of why you tend to act this way and help you proactively address them.
2. Understand your motivation: Take the time to dig deep and understand why you feel the need to please others. It could be rooted in a fear of rejection, a desire for acceptance, or a need for external validation. Self-reflection and journaling can be helpful tools in uncovering these underlying motivations.
3. Prioritize self-care: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Set aside time for activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation. This could be engaging in hobbies, practicing mindfulness or spending time with loved ones.
4. Practice assertiveness: Learn to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs assertively and respectfully. Start by setting clear boundaries with others. It's okay to say no when you don't have the time or energy for something, or when it compromises your own well-being. Communicate your needs openly and honestly, understanding that you have the right to prioritize yourself.
5. Challenge your beliefs: Often, people pleasers hold certain internal beliefs that contribute to their behavior. Challenge these beliefs by questioning their validity. Understand that you don't need to be liked by everyone and that your worth is not defined by how much you do for others.
6. Surround yourself with supportive people: Seek out relationships that value and respect you for who you are, rather than what you can do for them. Surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding individuals can empower you to break free from people-pleasing tendencies and encourage your personal growth.
Those are some useful tools to apply and improve your situation but they don’t constitute a formal treatment. So, if you think you need some extra help to handle this or any other issue that causes you significant discomfort, look for professional orientation.
