Four simple ways to stop overthinking
Overthinking is more common than expected. Most people tend to dwell on the same thoughts over and over again, but some of them get stuck in that mental loop without being able to get out of it. It's like the same movie repeats itself several times and you're unable to hit the stop button despite desperately wanting to.
But why do we overthink? Overthinking is a mental mechanism that appears when we constantly insist on the same subject. It includes thoughts, images, memories and internal dialogues, and tends to trigger negative mood and dysfunctional behaviors. When our mind cannot understand a past event -such as a betrayal or a loss-; or is afraid of a future event -such as a challenge or an uncertain situation-; or is dealing with something confusing or stressful in the present -such as a new job or a moving-, it starts to mentally replay that situation as solution rehearsals trying to find answers and mental clarity that will alleviate unpleasant feelings—such as confusion, vulnerability or fear. Thus, we overthink as an effort to cope with distress.
However, unlike the problem-solving approach, in overthinking thoughts are perseverative (repeating the same set of negative thoughts over and over again), tend to increase distress, and focus on causes, negative consequences, and what was lost, rather than focusing on solutions: "Why did this happen? Why to me? What did I do wrong to deserve this? I shouldn't have said that; what am I going to do if this doesn't work out; what am I going to do if that person leaves me; why can I be more... How am I going to deal with...?".
So, in order to change that unhelpful mechanism, try to put this in practise:
Practice identifying excessive thoughts
Start noticing those persistent thoughts and try to notice when they appear. Catch those thoughts by writing them down in a personal journal. Apply this technique daily to increase your awareness each time this style of thinking is triggered in you by preventing it from escalating and getting stuck in it.
Schedule a time to overthink
Set a specific period of time during your day to think about your problem. Schedule it as a homework assignment and write about those thoughts, the situations that trigger them, how they make you feel, what consequences they cause in your behavior, what you can do to solve the problem that is troubling you or avoid a future one or prevent yourself from making the same mistake again.
Focus on problem solving
Change the cognitive strategy for coping with your current problems or processing past events. Instead of thinking about causes, negative consequences and things you can or have lost, ask yourself: what can I do; what alternatives do I have to solve the problem; how am I going to implement it; what small step can I take to make things less unpleasant or to avoid a negative outcome; where do I start; what am I missing to achieve it; what is the worst that can come up? Focusing on solving the problem gives you an active, empowered role and allows you to be prepared rather than vulnerable to circumstances.
Change the channel
Stop the cycle when those thoughts appear as intrusions outside of your "overthinking time." Practice some mindfulness techniques that redirect you to the present moment and avoid getting lost in your mental world. Focus your attention on your breathing, or do a brief body scan, or concentrate on your here and now by naming 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste; etc.
Improving your self-awareness and training yourself in cognitive-behavioral techniques is one way to deal with the discomfort of overthinking. Those are some strategies to apply but seek therapeutic guidance if you feel you need support and professional orientation with this.
As I often say, we cannot change the circumstances that happen to us, but
we can choose how we respond to them.
