How to start changing

Change is not always easy. Establishing a few steps can give us some clarity on how to get started. As the year draws to a close, I propose you choose one aspect of your life that you want to change and apply the following ones.

Make a life audit

Evaluate your main life areas in term of your well-being in each one. Set a score from 1 (not satisfied at all) to 10 (completed satisfied) about how satisfied you are in them. Some ideas might be:

🎯 Social area:
√ Romantic relationships: companionship, love, sexuality, seduction, communication.

√ Friendships and family: Supportiveness, intimacy, shared time.

🎯 Health area: physical and mental wellness.

🎯 Personal growth: self-understanding and self-knowledge, self development, who I am and who I want to be.

🎯 Career: professional development, job satisfaction, studies.

🎯 Financial area: incomes, expenses organisation, savings.

🎯 Free time: enjoyment, relaxation, enthusiasm, interest, fun.

🎯 Environment: the place you live and how satisfied it is for your: city, neighbourhood, country.

Set the score you would like yo achieve in each area

Now think carefully how you would like to be in each area and write down the score you would like to achieve. What does this score include? What would your life be like in this area if you achieved it?

Turn them into goals

Now that you have already connected with your desires, think realistically about how you will be in each area, how you see yourself in the future. Is it possible to achieve this state? If the answer is yes, stay with the result, if not, modify it in realistic terms. Describe your desired state as accurately as possible.

Define your first aim

Choose the first area you are going to start changing. Review your goal score here and define it even more precisely using the S.M.A.R.T method: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time (deadlines).

Make it happen

Now, reflect on the step-by-step to move toward your scoring goal. Follow the Ikigai method (small, achievable and maintainable changes with a "reason for being") and focus on the things that are within your control. Acceptance and a problem-solving approach are the key words here.

Take action

Think about the first step you are going to take to get closer to your goal. Remember to choose "baby steps" and focus on the things you can intervene in, rather than the things you can't change and the huge challenges. What small change can I make to make my current situation less unpleasant? Write down on your monthly calendar the start date and the next steps you are going to take.

Remember that change is always possible but requires effort, time and perseverance. If you consider that you are not able to do it alone, seek professional guidance and develop the life you want to have.